I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
