that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
