Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
