Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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