My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
