we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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