Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
