Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize