I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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