Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
