i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
