That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
