ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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