Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
