He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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