somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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