He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Fuck appropriateness.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
