But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
