how can u be prego again
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
