Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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