Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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