Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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