Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
