i think my tv is drunk
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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