I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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