I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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