And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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