They should really pass out barf bags in church
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
