For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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