For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm just crazy horny about you
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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