yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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