Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
