Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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