YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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