Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize