Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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