I don't think brook has ever known best
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
