He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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