Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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