Where did you get a picture of my penis
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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