yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
