is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We are all done wearing pants today
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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