you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize