I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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