I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
