I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
