I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
