Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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