just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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