My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
