Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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