No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
