The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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