i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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