Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
