ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
