WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
