Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
