I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
