Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
