Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
